What the athletes at the World Championships were really thinking

berlin

It was certainly interesting to watch the interviews with the athletes at the recently–concluded World Championships. Live interviews give you a reasonable opportunity to get to know the person better. But one sometimes suspects that the athletes are being politically correct or are “sticking to the script” in their responses.  What if we could actually get into the heads of these elite athletes and hear their thoughts before and after a race?  Wouldn’t that be interesting?  As it turns out thingsjamaicanslove.com has obtained access to top-secret software that lets you do just that. (Don’t ask how. We know people that know people…) So, here are some of the things the athletes at the World Championships in Berlin were thinking:

Brigitte Foster-Hylton – Jamaica - Waiting for the results of the Women’s 110m Hurdles at the finish line: “Oh wow, the finish was really close.  I wonder where I placed?  Well, whatever happens, it’s ok.  I’m just going to be very calm and gracious about the whole thing.  It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s… I won??? I WON!!! I WON!!! I WON!!!”

Usain Bolt – Jamaica – Men’s 100m:

At the Starting line:  “Hmm…  I wonder what’s for dinner?  Should I give them the Sweep at the finish line, or the Gully Creeper?  I hope I can keep my new BMW longer than the last one.”

“Oh, is that the starting gun?”

At the 50 yard line: “Ok, lemme turn on the turbo charger right here”

At the 80m line:  “Rahtid, is where Tyson disappear to? He was right beside me jus’ a second ago.”

At the finish line: “Yawwwwn”

On the victory lap: “If this photographer don’t come outta mi way, I’m gonna run him over like a stray dog”

American athletes: “Where can I get some of that yam?”

The Residents of Sherwood Content (Bolt’s home town):  I got some yam for you right here, buddy!

Athletes from all over the world:  “I’m gonna play the ass whenever the camera is on me at the starting line.  If it works for Usain…”

Kerron Stewart – Jamaica- At the finish line of the Women’s 100m:  “If they just had ONE extra metre in this race!”

Tyson Gay- USA – Men’s 100m:

At the starting line:  “The gold medal is mine! I’m an American, dammit! I got this!

“I'm gonna run like I'm back in elementary school trying to escape the kids teasing me about my last name!”

At the finish line:  “I ran 9.71 and came second? SECOND???!!!”

Shawn Crawford – USA – Men’s 200m: “Why is that camera in my face? I'm gonna be all serious and give my best impersonation of Officer Dokes from Dexter...”

Wallace Spearmon – USA- During the Men’s 200m final: “Gotta stay in my lane! Gotta stay in my lane!  Can’t repeat Beijing!”

Dayron Robles - Cuba – Men’s 110m Hurdles:

At the starting line:  “Si, mi amigos, I’m gonna bring home the gold for Fidel!”

While clearing the first hurdle: “Ay caramba, di pain, di pain!”

After pulling up: “Madre de dios! Who put that hurdle right there?”

Sanya Richards – USA- Women’s 400m: “America better thank their lucky stars that I switched countries...”

Veronica Campbell – Jamaica – Women’s 4x100m: “Is wapm to Missa Quarrie an this run di turn argument?  If they think I’m going to take the chance of running the turn, possibly dropping the baton and then having to face a nation of angry Jamaicans afterwards, they have another thing coming. Lucky!”

Caster Semenya - South Africa – Women’s 800m: “Now why would anyone ever think (scratches stubble on chin thoughtfully) I'm a man?!”

“And why do the Jamaicans keep calling me See-man-ya?”

International Media: “If it walks like a man, talks like a man, runs like a man…  It’s a female runner from South Africa”

Berlino the World Championships mascot:  “Damn Melaine, you kinda heavy girl”