The 9 Commandments of Jamaican Life

Children of Jamrock I say unto thee...

1. Thou shalt never race a taximan, for he hath neither fear nor insurance.

2. Thou shalt never date a woman who has a soldier or policeman as a boyfriend or husband. Should tho so doest “Love Triangle End in Murder/Suicide” shalt surely be the headline on the front page of The Star.

3. If thou seest that the sky is even slightly cloudy thou shalt not attempt to drive across any river, gully or fording.

4. Thou shalt not make plans based on a politician's promises. For their words are like wind and thy time and money are precious.

5. Thou shalt budget at least an hour if thou intendeth to join the line at any bank.

6. The West Indies cricket team shall let you down. Jamaica's track team shall not.

7. There is no thing under the heavens that does not taste better with curry gravy or pepper sauce.

8. Thou shalt keep a sharpened cutlass under thy bed for it shall come in handy should workers of iniquity enter thy yard under cover of night.

9. Thou shalt marry a country girl. What she lacketh in wealth and social graces she shall surely make up for in cooking and good ways.